The Comparison Trap, a talk for MOPS: Follow up Q's

I am a child of God,
I ought to do His will.
I can do what He tells me,
And by His GRACE, I will.

• Do you know for certain that you are a Child of God? (I am)  
• When do you most often find yourself in the ‘comparison trap’? (by His GRACE) 
• What is a useful distraction for you (and/or your child) to use when you find yourself in those situations?(I will) 
• In what ways you can obey God more as you pursue holiness? (I ought) 
• What is a practical way you can incorporate the Word of God into your everyday life? (I can) 

Read The Comparison Trap posts...

The Comparison Trap - a talk for MOPS, Part 3

Dear MOPS moms and other fellow Beautiful Messes,Part 3-Enduring GRACE

I have shared this poem with you before.  It's taken from our educational philosophy (Charlotte Mason) but applies anywhere and actually to any age.  Alongside my children through the years, I have learned how very true this is for my life. And I want to start with this and weave it into our discussion on 'Comparing Ourselves to Others'.

I am a child of God, 
I ought to do His will.
I can do what He tells me,
And by His GRACE, I will.  

We are all so different!  Yet, we make comparisons all the time… Is the grass really greener on the other side?

To answer rightly I should clarify our context for today  - Comparisons vs. assessments. I want to move us from a ‘comparison point’ to a ‘grace point'. Part 1: PERSPECTIVE, Part 2: FOCUS, Part 3: Enduring GRACE.

Quote for the Day

- from Future Grace by John Piper

There is a sense in which gratitude and faith are interwoven joys that strengthen each other.

Giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Ephesians 5:20

As gratitude joyfully revels in the  benefits of past grace, so faith joyfully relies on the benefits of future grace.  Therefore when gratitude for God's past grace is strong, the message is sent that God is supremely trustworthy in the future because of what he has done in the past. In this way faith is strengthened by a lively gratitude for God's past trustworthiness.  On the other hand, when faith in God's future grace is strong, the message is sent that this kind of God makes no mistakes, so that everything he has done in the past is part of a good plan and can be remembered with gratitude.  In this way gratitude is strengthened by a lively faith in God's 

future grace.

The Comparison Trap - a talk for MOPS, Part 2

Dear MOPS moms and other fellow Beautiful Messes,Part 2- Focus

I have shared this poem with you before.  It's taken from our educational philosophy (Charlotte Mason) but applies anywhere and actually to any age.  Alongside my children through the years, I have learned how very true this is for my life. And I want to start with this and weave it into our discussion on 'Comparing Ourselves to Others'.

I am a child of God, 
I ought to do His will.
I can do what He tells me,
And by His GRACE, I will.  

We are all so different!  Yet, we make comparisons all the time… Is the grass really greener on the other side?

To answer rightly I should clarify our context for today  - Comparisons vs. assessments. I want to move us from a ‘comparison point’ to a ‘grace point'. Part 1 was all about PERSPECTIVE...In Part 2, Let's FOCUS...

Get Out of that Trap!

'Comparison Trap' Resources from a talk for Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) meeting on...

"Is the Grass Really Greener?

Keeping the proper perspective will keep us out of the ‘comparison trap’ and give us a right focus. What our focus is as moms will be a huge part of our children's as well. That is back to that whole person and real life thing. Where you spend your time and energy is what becomes your focus. Habits of the heart are cultivated.

Monday Meditations...

on Tuesday...

I am beginning a new study from John Piper's Future Grace.  Come with me as I ponder
 

the beauty of enduring grace.

...there is something about the faith through which pardoning grace justifies, that makes it a suitable and efficient means through which empowering grace always sanctifies.

The faith that justifies gives rise to lives of obedience-not perfection, but growing holiness.

Thoughts on Oughts

Dear Friends and Fellow Beautiful Messes,

The real question:

We thought about the 'Comparison Trap' yesterday and the question of, "Is the grass greener?".  A wise comment was made during a discussion time about the positives a comparison can bring as it inspires us to do better.  True, comparisons can give us a goal and be that impetus to get us moving toward change.  If we look deeper at that, the motivation is in response to the question we decided was the better-"Am I reflecting Christ?".  A comparison of that sort is really a legitimate assessment and, though it is about 'me' in the sense of what I need to do better, it is ultimately a focus on God, who he is, and whether or not am I showing that in my life.  That is the good sort of comparison.

I Ought to?:

We need to be careful, as we try to stay out of the negative 'Comparison Trap', that we don't go back to that 'me' focus by confusing our 'Oughts' with preferences or just the reality of who we are.  Here's what I mean...  Ought I to like the color purple?,  Ought I to want pink marshmallow fluff? Ought I to be as organized as my friend? Not necessarily.

The Comparison Trap - a talk for MOPS, Part 1

Dear MOPS moms and other fellow Beautiful Messes,Part 1 - Perspectives

I have shared this poem with you before.  It's taken from our educational philosophy (Charlotte Mason), but applies anywhere and actually to any age.  Alongside my children through the years, I have learned how very true this is for my life. And I want to start with this and weave it into our discussion on 'Comparing Ourselves to Others'.

I am a child of God, 
I ought to do His will.
I can do what He tells me,
And by His GRACE, I will.  

We are all different people.  We are each created a whole person.  What I mean by that is that we don’t live compartmentalized lives.  One person at home, one person at MOPS, one person at church, one part as a parent, or wife or Christian… we are all of those together, a conglomerate… a beautiful mess. We are real people (our children are just as much persons as we, only shorter).  We live real lives.

Wasn't it interesting to see all the differences we found in our approaches and personalities as we took the Mommy Personality Test based on the Myers/Briggs.  We are all so different!  Yet, we make comparisons all the time… "Is the grass really greener on the other side?"

A CM school day...

A friend of mine facilitates a CM group and gave the description below of what a school day might look like.  Lovely example, so I asked her to share with you.